Their Eyes Were Watching Daddy began as a therapeutic attempt at making sense of my own challenges with the mother of my youngest son.
I left the relationship with her during fall 2009. I left the relationship, but I did not leave my son. Our parental relationship since the break-up has been rocky at best. My son’s mother has done everything within her limited power to impede my relationship with my son. I’m not sure if its jealousy, anger over our break-up or just pure hatred, but she obviously feels her calling in life is to disrupt the harmony between my son and me to the best of her ability.
There are men who, like me, love their child and would do anything in the world to secure their happiness and welfare. These men, not unlike me, may be experiencing hostility with the mother of their offspring. In some cases law enforcement and or the courts have stepped in to enforce a restraining order that has been handed down. Other cases may have involved allegations of abuse and neglect that ultimately had to be adjudicated along legal lines.
Whatever the case, relationships between never-married and divorced parents can be acrimonious, filled with distrust and rife with anger.
We are often told to never take things into our own hands in these situations. I firmly believe that to be a sound principle. Fathers dealing with hostile mothers should always allow the system to deal with their situations. For many fathers, though, the system has failed. That’s because the system cannot adjudicate a sense of justice and fairness; it cannot regulate a person’s moral and ethical proclivity.
In short, the system was never designed to make a person – man or woman – do the right thing! Unfortunately, far too many mothers become hostile with the fathers of their offspring and the only hurt parties are the children.
I’ve concluded that we as unmarried and/or divorced fathers must do what we can legally to remain relevant in the lives of our children. Therefore, I began TEWD as a way of reaching out to men who share that conviction – men who desire to have a positive, constructive relationship with their child(ren).
Think of TEWD as a navigation system, showing men the most effective and efficient route toward their destination. I don’t know all the answers, but I will do my best as director of this group to find answers, to find legitimate and legal ways for fathers to be in the life of their offspring.
